Madness

Ever do one of those things where someone will begin to tell a story about a person, then interrupt and ask if you know said person before continuing their tale, and then you nod your head and say “Yeah, yeah!” when you don’t know anything, just so they can continue their story? Come on, you know you have. It seems like a universal idea that everyone must know everyone, obviously, or else a story about that person’s exploits can not be told.

Come on, you can tell me I’m right, that everyone at least once has had the wonderful occasion of being asked if they know someone before hearing a tale about that person. If you have never lied and said you don’t know, tell me, and I’ll draw a picture to commend you sir or madame. But for the rest of us lying little sons and daughters of female dogs, why do we do it? I’m just curious, because do we really want to know about how “Insert name here” totally faced off against that lion with his bare hands and or survived a plane exploding on a mountain by using their magical powers to create a shield and save everyone? Okay, I exaggerate.

But seriously, do you even care? Or are you trying to be polite to the person who you DO know? Or maybe you’re actually thinking of how to rig your school’s lottery (heheheheheh…) and you don’t want to actually talk, so you say you know the person to make sure your conversation partner does all the talking while you formulate your evil plan.

And what does your partner usually do if, by the off chance you don’t actually care to lie, you say you don’t know them? I personally love the awkward silence that takes over followed by a clearing of the throat and changing of the subject. It’s funny. But still, it leaves me wanting to know what “Insert Proper noun here” did that was sooo worthy of prime-time gossip. I must know or else I explode, and spontaneous explosion is something I kinda don’t want to do :(

Well, whatever the situation is and how you handle it, I want to know, simply because these situations need to be avoided without me having to memorize the entire damn yearbook. Speaking of difficult situations, a friend of mine was trapped in the Amazon rain forest and had to-wait, you know Don X. Ist right?

I hate that phrase. Guilty pleasure? What the hell is a guilty pleasure? According to a majority of the world, it’s something that you like, but 99.99% of humanity detests. Liking Justin Bieber is a guilty pleasure. Walking around your house naked is a guilty pleasure. Being happy is a guilty pleasure. Who the hell decides these things? Why should I feel guilty about something I like? I’ll admit it, I like one of Justin Bieber’s songs. To be precise, I like the chorus of one song. To be even more precise, I like the instrumental. Should I be scorned on the street and thrown rocks at? Should I be crucified because of what I like? No! If I like something, I like it. There’s nothing “guilty” about it. That’s why people shouldn’t be afraid to say what they like, even if others don’t like it. Who cares what they think, as long as you’re happy. So fuck all those people who say what you like is a “guilty pleasure”, because it’s not. It’s what you like. Now, if you like stealing money from old people in the street or bullying small children or adults, then yes, that is a guilty pleasure, and by all means are rocks and other hard objects allowed to be thrown at you, you twisted little bastard. Give that money back and say you’re sorry. >:(

Life is always getting me down. That’s what life does, it gets you down. Usually to lift back up, we try some grand scheme to bring back our spirits. But if they fail, then we end up worse. For me, I find joy in the simple things in life. The things we take for granted and the things that go unnoticed. That’s why for all you currently blue people, I shall share my list of simple yet spirit lifting activities!

1) Draw faces on eggs. It’s actually more fun than you think. While making scrambled eggs, I love giggling as I watch the eggs stare in horror at my cooking their friends.

2) Dance in the rain. Forget about how your hair looks or your running make up or getting wet. Act like I child and dance to your heart’s content! Let the rain cool your skin as your heartbeat races. Just watch out for cars.

3) Stare at the clouds. Relax your mind and just chill. Name what the clouds look like and pretend some epic story is happening up there.

4) Take a bath with bubbles. Not a shower. Shower requires energy to stand and soap up and other things. Also, you can’t use bubbles. Baths allow for complete and utter zen time. And if you bathe with bubbles, you can act like Santa or pretend it’s snowing! Whatever your preference.

5) Nap. With so much focus on time and rushing, no one takes naps anymore. What happened to coming home from school or work, plopping down on the sofa and just napping? It’s so relaxing, and you’ll feel better after you awaken.

6) Write. Whenever I have a headache or am just feeling down, I tend to write, like I am now. I would say draw, but for some people they may feel like their artwork isn’t right and become more frustrated. So instead, write things down. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just there so you can vent.

7) Listen to Instrumental Music. This may be a bit difficult as some people have specific tastes, but bear with me here. It can be any type of genre, as long as it’s instrumental. You can input your own words into the lyric-less song, allowing for it to be more personal. For me, my favorite guy is Nujabes (R.I.P.). Just listen and chill.

8) Lay in bed. Just lay there. Be lazy and don’t do anything. Forget the world and just lay there. Even if aliens invade, lay in your bed like a boss. The bed is your throne and you are it’s throne sitter!

9) Look through your drawers.This activity is actually pretty damn cool. I once looked through my drawers to find an eraser and ended up playing a Hamtaro game with my old DS while I had my long lost slinky on my arm and stickers on my face. You will be surprised at the things you end up finding.

10) Smile. Just smile. Smile when you’re down. Smile when you’re up. Smile when you’re bored and smile when you just need something to do. I guarantee that you’ll feel happier just by smiling, and if not, then kick a dog. That will make you grin.

Hope this helps :3

             I hate growing up. I’m only 16, yet the daunting prospect of having to survive on my own absolutely sends me into an uncontrollable rage. Why? I’m still trying to figure that out myself. It seems like everyone in the world, well, every teenager in the world has their life laid out in beautiful, gold studded detail, and all that is missing is the age requirement to act it out. Everyone, except me of course. Call it pessimism, call it narcissism, call it whatever, but it feels like only I can’t figure my shit out. And the funny thing? I know I’m not alone. Far from it actually. All those preppy preps and jocky jocks and gothy Goths and non-cliquer cliques all have their fear of the future. It makes sense really.

             For the past 16, 17, 18 years, the only life they have ever known is that of being raised by someone. From birth to their awkward fazes, some adult like figure is there; guiding the way and laying out plans to help for the future. All their life, the ONLY life they know, is that of being cared for. Suddenly, that’s not so. One day, they’ll leave the house. When they come back, there are no annoying brothers or sisters or doting parents or loyal pets to greet them at the door. When they open that door, it’s just them and an empty house. Even for people who have their plans laid out, even for people who are sick of home and just want to be free, deep down, there is some hidden fear of being alone. It’s a fear that can’t be helped. Does anyone truly wish to forfeit the life they’ve only known for some unforeseen and rather unforgiving future?

           Sure, some of the people reading this (if any) are calling me out by saying they are perfectly fine ditching childhood for the adult life, and really, you probably are. But for the people like me, the ones who smile and nod while others talk about their future, the ones who do their work and brightly aspire to be something, the ones who secretly breakdown inside because they actually believe that they won’t make it, for those people, I just want to say, it’s totally cool. A hell of a lot more people are like that than we realize, but because of the pressure of “maturing”, we keep those fears from surfacing in public, or even to our parents. We allow or minds to dwell ominously in dangerous depths until we lose sight of what we need to focus on. In the end, we become so trapped by our inner fears and paranoia that we can’t move, or even breathe. I don’t know how many times I’ve awoken in the morning welcoming the day, only to curse the time that passes ever so ruthlessly. And you know what? It’s okay.

             Sure, we’re about to enter the adult world soon, and sure, there’s a lot of pressure to succeed. But that doesn’t mean we can’t falter sometimes. We don’t have to be perfect. Our future depends on the effort we put into making it, not the amount of polish our images need to maintain. Everything we do as children won’t mean squat once we enter adulthood, but the effort we used during that time will prepare us for it. So it’s fine to get angry, it’s fine to be insecure on the inside. It doesn’t mean that we’re failing at being mature; rather, it means we admit that out childishness will soon be fading. So while I absolutely hate growing up, and while I absolutely despise a future I can’t see, I’m also kind of looking forward to it. After all, what kind of adult will I make? With my own strength, what will I be able to achieve? It’s an absolutely terrifying prospect, but we’re teenagers. Treating terrifying things with stupidly rash determination is our thing. I just hope I keep my sarcastic view on life.  That’s a must.

Fear. One of the most powerful and influential emotions to plague sentient life. It infiltrates the mind- influencing, growing, consuming- until nothing is left but a shattered husk of frailty. Some say they have experienced this tormenting sensation. They cry their tears, telling heartfelt stories of overcoming their fear. They wave their fists in the air, yelling at how fear is tamable, that the common man can penetrate the darkness and find the light. These people, these persons of telling tales and bright eyed idealism, they know nothing of true fear. Despair they have experienced, but fear? Fear is absolute. A person can come back from despair but fear cannot be abandoned. A person in despair can spend their days wallowing in their forsaken souls, knowing that there is no light for them to reach. They know what lies ahead of them. Fear takes away that luxury. A truly fearful person is afraid not by what they cannot see, but what they imagine to be. True fear does not break the human spirit, rather, it parasitically attaches to its prey, killing it ever so slowly while the poor creature wastes away in paranoia.

Even adults, with their claims to knowledge and safety in persons, are the most fearful of all ages. Every action taken by them is one of fear. Every precaution, every move, every step, they cautions themselves against the rest of the world. As one grows up, the fear of life is instilled into them.  Tales of unfortunate freak accidents become everyday occurrences in their minds. They are unable to tell the difference between a possibility that has no chance of happening and one that is uncontrollable. In their jaded brains, any and every scenario they imagine is something that can and will happen. In some way, the universe will hunt them down and punish them, either out of sheer, cruel amusement or karma. In the mind of an adult, it does not matter the reason to fear, all that matters are the ways to fear something. And as adults become the central “guidance” in life, children are instilled with this notion just as those before them. The cycle, therefore, becomes a never ending circle of imaginary fearing begetting imaginary fears.

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”. That is incorrect. Fear itself is not worthy of being acted on by its name. True fear does not come from the object. No, it comes from the person themselves. True fear is knowing that something is supposed to happen, but not knowing when, where, how, or if it will even come. True fear is a child walking home, having knowledge of an unfortunate event, and each step taken towards that house is one of terror and dread as to what will come. But the outcome of that may not even occur. The child themselves, knowing only of something they deserve but not if it will come, imagines hundreds, thousands of scenarios with each breath taken, each step forward. Their hearts pound excitedly in their chests, their heads ringing with senses of an event that may not even happen. By the time that child reaches the doorstep, they are reduced to a paranoid wreck, jittery with every breath of the wind or screech of a bird.

This is fear. This is inescapable. For as long as any creature has lived, fear has prevailed. The fear of starvation, of ruin, of death controls every aspect of life. Those people who claim to overcome fear have merely managed to suppress their anxiety. In truth, the fear is there, waiting, waiting to come out. Bubbling ever so gently under the surface, fear waits for its return. It cannot be tamed, it cannot be controlled, and most certainly, it cannot be ridden of. As long as speculation exists, fear will as well. With every cautious movement of the eye, hesitated step, and skipped heartbeat, fear takes over, slowly, surely, destructively.

(Source: pnutbtrjeli)